Independent on Sunday (21/1/2001)

Twm Morys

“When you consider their language
Has only survived this far
Because of committees inventing new words
For ‘television’ and ‘car’,
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry,”
Meddai Janet Street-Porter, a neb llai.  

 “Mr. Glyn is intent on preserving
An arcane and irrelevant view
Of a land which is full of Welsh people
All doing what Welsh people do.
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry,”
Meddai Janet Street-Porter, a neb llai.

 “People happy to go down the coal mine
And the quarry for tuppence an hour,
Eat mutton and bread, and sing Welsh hymns
In the chapel and the pit-head shower.
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry,”
Meddai Janet Street-Porter, a neb llai.

 “That Wales disappeared from the face of the earth
After the First World War,
And nothing of any importance at all
Ever happens in Wales anymore.
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry,”
Meddai Janet Street-Porter, mwy neu lai.

 “North Wales is a theme-park,
Whether Mr. Glyn likes it or not.
And don’t think I’m saying this because
Of some personal problem I’ve got,
But if they haven’t shot him, they f*cking well oughta!
Yours sincerely, Janet Street-Porter.”